08_12_11.mp3(850.5KB)

 

DEAR ABBY:

My boyfriend of three months, "Josh," and I are having a disagreement. I was married to my ex-husband for seven years and had two beautiful sons with him. I am no longer in love with my ex and we do not spend any time alone together. However, after our divorce six years ago, we agreed it would be best to remain on good terms for the sake of our boys. We spend holidays, birthdays and special events jointly with our sons. Josh has a very difficult time with this. He thinks that once you're divorced, it's over. You don't sit together at functions. Josh doesn't even want him to come into the house to pick up the boys. I care deeply for Josh and don't want to lose him over this, but I'm at my wit's end. I want my children to know that even though their parents are no longer married, we can be civil and get along. Can you help me with this? -- "STUCK" IN NEW YORK

DEAR "STUCK":

I commend you and your ex-husband for your maturity and determination that your children will see you as a united front, even though you're no longer married. It saddens me that the man with whom you are now involved is insecure and unable to appreciate the wisdom of your decision. If your boyfriend is willing, I'd recommend some couples counseling to help him calm his jealousy. Please discuss it with him. However, if he refuses, then he has already told you what you need to know about the future of your relationship and the degree to which he values it.